Dear Sandi

Winter break is coming to its end since I will be leaving back to my apartment soon =[ In a way I'm pretty much excited to head back over the the I.E. since I know all my friends will start flowing in and then I get to see their wonderful faces again! :D But then that means no more time to spend with the family =[ Granted yes they drive me nuts and whatnot but meh, they're still my family and I love them oh so much! <3 I have made some new friends and I'm gonna miss hanging out with them late at night =[ but I must be serious with my school work this time. No more fucking up Sandi! No more! Hence, I decided to write a letter to myself reminding myself what I need to do lol

Dear Sandi,
You NEED to stop fucking up. You NEED to stop being boy crazy and focus on your fucking future! The male species has fucked you over SO many fucking times! WHY ARE YOU LETTING YOURSELF DO THIS?! You know better. You've been through so much shit with guys and you keep telling yourself "No more, I'm done." You NEED to make sure that you ARE done with this shit. You need to keep reminding yourself that you want to grow up to be the independent woman YOU want to be. You don't want to be relying on a guy to make you happy. ONLY YOU can make yourself happy. You DON'T need a guy to make you happy. You really don't! Guys are only good for their dicks, honestly now, you've been screwed over so many times, do you honestly think you're gonna find a guy that's gonna stay sweet even AFTER he got into your pants?! Life is not a fucking fairy tale. There are NO happy endings. There is no prince charming. There is not a knight in shining armor to take you away into a happy world. Fairy tales are false stories to make money off of little girls along with giving them a ridiculous template of how relationships should be like. You need to figure out who YOU are. You do not need to look for a guy companionship to make your life complete. You can be complete without a guy! You were stupid in high school, but now you're in college, you're almost DONE with college, you cannot AFFORD to be like your high school self. You need to get off your lazy ass, start working out hard for that banging body you've been wanting, get a fucking job so you can spoil yourself, start studying hard so you can get a decent fucking GPA so you can get accepted to a decent grad school. You need to start doing shit for yourself that involves your future. You need to man the fuck up! You need to stop fucking around and take shit seriously. You don't need materialistic things to make you happy. You're happy with what you have now. You are not going to give up most of your money to go to New York [okay, maybe, it's a learning experience!] but you will grow a fucking pair of balls to fucking do great at the mock MUN conferences so you can be chosen to go to the New York conference. You will fucking work your fucking ass off because you NEED to graduate within the next year and a half. You will not be so negative about life, but instead you will be optimistic but you must keep in mind that you have to be realistic. You will put up a wall to protect yourself but keep please create a small door so that if someone is willing to try, you'll open the door but not fully welcome them in. You do not need to be distracted with anything else but school. Don't be a prude, you need to have fun as well since you will be turning 21 this year [please don't drink so much, your liver loves you!] You are going to make choices without regretting them, because life really IS to short to be regretting shit and dwelling on the past. You need to find a stress reliever because you are a walking bomb and you might blow up on the wrong person and that is a no no. You may have some lazy days but you need to keep motivating yourself to do your best. You don't have to necessarily be a perfect 4.0 student but you must try your best, as long as you know you tried your best without telling yourself "I should've done this ..." NONE OF THAT SHIT! You don't want to be fucking up this year. Not this year. You can't fuck up anymore. You need to start being a cold-hearted bitch [well exceptions to a few] Other than that, you are a nice and caring person but people WILL take advantage of you. You care waaay too much about others than yourself. Don't stop but you know WHO to care for and whatnot. Please make these changes because you know you need to for yourself. I want you to come back to this post a year from now [well next new years eve] and be satisfied with yourself. Remember YOUR goals and what you're working hard for ... as cliche as it sounds, everything WILL pay off in the end ... you just need to be patient, you hardcore lack patience, but trust yourself ... it WILL be worth it.

Sincerely,
Sandi

Whew! that took a lot out of me! lol I came upon this song and I thought this girl is freaking AMAZING!