Smile.

I try to smile every time I'm outside in public. I don't like it when people try to read me or I guess "figure me out". I don't like being predictable to the point where I can't do anything without someone calling out my moves. I usually make an attempt to smile so people can see the facade I try to put up for myself.

I don't know what I want at the moment. I'm sitting on my bed, sweating my ass off, I'm staring at my spanish presentation as well as my spanish homework. I should be studying. I should be preparing myself my upcoming exams. I have all this time and yet, I feel so down that I don't know what to do.

I want something ... spontaneous to happen.

Library

I was able to finish my comparative politics essay within 4 hours! I was very excited and quite proud of myself for being able to finish a 8pg. paper within 4 hours! I usually take 4 hours to do a freakin' 3 page paper but geeze I was just on a roll yesterday! It had to be about 6-8 pgs but I just found myself needing more space so I was quite excited. Luckily my kind TA was able to read my essay [even though I felt REALLY bad asking him too cause he had office hours practically ALL day and he must've been really tired] and he just told me to work on my conclusion [which I knew needed the most work on]. I practically slacked off the entire day when I was done with my paper, which was a bad thing because I should've studied a bit for spanish but ehhh. Spanish can go suck my invisible d*ck at the moment cause I'm starting to not care anymore. I don't understand why I'm struggling so much with spanish when I took it in high school! Ugh whatever tho.

Summer has been okay so far. It's not how I expected it to be but it's been okay. Summer school has been keeping me busy and whatnot so most of my attention is going towards my classes. I'm moving into a new apartment soon, well new place, same complex I guess, but there's a twist! There are currently two guys living in there at the moment so they said I would be living with them until they move out in September. My first response was like ... "what ..." and then I was like uhh ... okay ...? Idk, I'm kind of iffy about it cause I mean c'mon it's two guys that I do not know and I'm gonna be living with them for a month?! I've lived with guys before but it's usually someone I'm familiar with and such. I don't know what to do in this situation ... Like I wanna meet new people and make new friends but for all I know, I would end up living with some party animals or potheads or something ya know?

I'm slowly losing weight! Funny thing is, it's SOO freaking hot to work out! I've just been walking to class so I'm sweating out my fat! [gross image] I'm able to fit into some of my old shorts [which I am quite proud of!] but I gotta work on toning my tummie! I wanna look decent for Halloween since I will [hopefully] be partying it up at UCSB! Man, I'm tired. I might work out today! Woo! I need food ... geeze, no money equals starving college student.

I'm so bored right now at the library. I should be reading for my poli sci class but I'm tired. I woke up late today too! Luckily I had my window open so the noise woke me up.

Til the next entry!

rumbling in my tummie

I am starvin' at the moment due to no breakfast, just a bottle of water and I'm working on my 6-8 pg. term paper on Russia vs. Brazil and who will become a democracy first. My refusal to leave the library until I am done with this darn paper is making me starve but I must finish this essay because if I leave the library to go back to my apartment and then drive somewhere to eat [i don't have food in my apartment] then it will cause me to slack off really really bad because knowing me I will probably get distracted by something and then once I finish eating [if i ever do eat] then I will want to take a nap because food make me sleepy [ i know ... bad! ] so I'm like arghh so I decided to take a small little break from my simple but LONG paper to write an entry since I haven't written an entry in ages so ... there!

Phew.