No Car!

So instead of typing this a bajillion time or whenever someone asks, I decided to put in details of my accident here. I was in an accident over the weekend on my drive back from home to Riverside. It was dark and rainy and I was being really careful with my driving ... unfortunately not careful enough. We have a witness tell us that some car got into the freeway in a drunken manner and crashed into the median, got out of his car and ran away from his car. He never turned his lights on, didn't move his car, nothing. I crashed into his car since I didn't see the car and was too scared to swerve to the left since I didn't want to crash into anyone else. My car is totaled. Nothing is left, it is gone. The cops are blaming the accident on me since the car was parked. What the fuck?! Cars should not be "parked" in the middle of the freeway! ... and the blame is on me. WTF. I called my insurance and they don't really know what to categorize my case ... this is so stupid. I've been trying to get my life back together and then this happens.

Ever since the accident, I have been depressed. I catch myself staring off into space and feeling as if the world is spinning and I'm the only standing still. I lost my motivation to keep on going ... I just don't even know anymore. I don't have a best friend to turn to, it just seems like she just walked out of my life, and I'm so done with it. I'm not asking for a best friend, just someone who is there for me. I have the boyfriend but he's done so much for me. I don't even know anymore. There are times where I just want to ... let go.

I don't know what to do anymore.

<3 Sandi